


New Year, New Me

by xHookedonKillianx



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-13
Updated: 2018-01-13
Packaged: 2019-03-04 01:36:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13353762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xHookedonKillianx/pseuds/xHookedonKillianx
Summary: I made a New Year’s resolution to be better at showing the people I love how much I care... But now all I want to do is kiss you.”Canon Divergent – Marian never comes back. They get interrupted before Hook admits to trading JR.





	New Year, New Me

**Author's Note:**

> Ahoy, shipmates! I’m your day 13 for the @csjanuaryjoy !!! I’m so happy to once again be included with this and to be along side of such wonderful writers! Big props to @lenfaz and @katie-dub for putting this together and @pirateherokillian for editing! You ladies are treasures to our fandom!

Emma decides to start her resolution _before_ New Year’s because they missed Christmas due to Zelena and with living in Storybrooke, no one can predict when the next villain will appear, so it’s best to begin right away.

She starts with her parents—no longer Mary Margaret and David, but mom and dad—she vows to show them just exactly what having them in her life means to her. So, when her mother suggests they have a New Year’s Eve party, Emma fights back the urge to wince and tells her she thinks it’s a great idea. 

The next person is Regina. Sure, they still have some tension between them, but they share custody of their son and she figures it’s best to start trying to make things better. So, when her and her parents go searching for an apartment, they stop at Town Hall to ask Regina’s opinion since Henry will be living there half the time, too. The former Queen huffs that his room better be suitable and that it be close, but otherwise doesn’t care. 

It’s not much, but it’s a start.

The last person and the one she’s been secretly most nervous about, is Killian. After they got back from the Enchanted Forest, she decided that it was too much work to fight her feelings for him, though she’s still not ready to jump in head first. Which is why she’s currently sitting in her bug, drumming her thumbs against the steering wheel while she stares at the invitation that’s laying on her dashboard. 

They haven’t really spoken since Granny’s and she’d be lying if she said the cocky look he gave her when he said he knew how she kissed hadn’t been in her dreams every night. She wanted to kiss him right there, but Henry came running out to say goodbye and she lost her nerve. So, she avoided him and acted like she didn’t notice the longing in his eyes when she got up and walked away. The next day, her mother decided to have the New Year’s party and handed her an invitation with Killian’s name on the front and tasked her with giving it to him.

Emma waited another day to pluck up the courage to deliver said invitation, because ever since she made her resolution—while simple acts are enough for the rest—all she can think about is kissing him and it’s getting rather ridiculous.

_ How can I show Killian I care? Kiss him. _

_ Maybe I can—kiss him. _

_ Or we could—kiss. _

Honestly, it’s like she’s a teenager again. 

Heading down to the docks, she searches for the Jolly Roger because she figures now that Henry has his memories back and she’s with her parents, there’s no need for him to keep his room at Granny’s. But when she can seem to find it, she goes to ask Eric where it is, and he gives her a strange look before saying, “The Jolly Roger is gone.”

Her throat tightens and the all too familiar feeling of abandonment rises in her chest as she backs away. He left town—left _her_ —without so much as a goodbye and though it hurts, she can’t really blame him. He’s made his feelings for her perfectly known while she’s done nothing but treat him like shit. 

Part of her is surprised he didn’t leave sooner while the other part curses her for being foolish enough to believe, even for a moment, that he’d be the one to actually _stay._ Tears prick the back of her eyes and she’s just about to run straight for her bug when she bumps right into the person she went looking for.

“Swan?” His voice is laced with concern and his brow is pulled together. She sucks in a breath, the scent of leather surrounding her as he asks, “What’s wrong?” 

Blinking, her mouth opens and closes a few times as she takes in the sight of him. The wind blows through his hair, making it whip across his forehead and she feels a shiver run down her spine.

“Emma, darling, breathe.” His use of her given name makes her snap back to reality and she sucks in a large gulp of air. “You look as if you’re about to collapse.”

It’s just as he brushes his thumb over the swell of her cheek that she realizes he’s real, and not some figment of her imagination, so she pulls him to her. The feel of his arms wrapping around her makes her almost chuckle. Instead, she closes her eyes and gives a small sigh of relief. 

His voice, though low and muffled by her hair, is what once again brings her back from her thoughts.

“Did something happen, love? Is your boy—” 

“No,” she cuts in while taking a step back, embarrassment quickly washing over her. “Nothing like that…  I’m sorry. I, uh, I was just…”

“In the hugging mood?” Her cheeks flush even as she glares, and the right side of his lips tug up. “You’ll not hear a complaint from me, Swan. In fact, if you’re still in the mood, I’d more than happy to—”

He steps forward with his arms out to his sides and she rolls her eyes before pressing her hand to his chest to stop him, making her fingers brush against his exposed chest hair.

_ Shit. _

“Has anyone told you what Friday night is?”

He drops his arms and loops his thumb through his belt buckle. 

“Aye, some sort of celebration for the upcoming year.” He motions with his hook to the town and continues, “Smee and the crew have requested my presence at the tavern.”

Tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, she asks, “Is, uh, is that what you’re doing then?”

He eyes her for a moment before looking to the ground.

“I haven’t decided.”

Silence falls between them and she almost tells him to enjoy the holiday with his crew, but then she remembers her resolution and takes a deep breath.

“Well, uh, in case you change your mind—” She reaches into her back pocket for the invitation and holds it out to him. “—my parents are having a party at their loft.” He takes the envelope from her and she watches as he brushes his thumb over the curves of his name written on the front. “Party starts at seven, but if you wanted you could come early to hang out…” She trails off with a shrug and his head snaps up. “I mean, if you decide you want to come, but, I, uh, completely understand if you want to spend it with your crew instead.” When he still doesn’t say anything, she presses her lips together in a forced smile and motions over her shoulder. “Anyway, I should go. I’ll see you later.”

She leaves before he can answer and spends the rest of the day thinking about the way he chewed on his bottom lip while she rambled on.

* * *

It’s just as Emma finishes changing her little brother’s diaper that she hears the knock on the door. 

“One second!” she calls out, making sure Neal’s clothes are securely in place before she picks him up and holds him close to her chest. 

It’s been _years_ since she’s held a baby, and though she’s no expert at it, the memories Regina gave her of taking care of Henry when he was a baby help. 

“Did you guys forget som—” Her words die on her lips the second she opens the door as her eyes go wide, because it’s not her parents, it’s Killian, and holy _fuck_ , does he look good. A smirk pulls slowly at the corner of his lips and it’s only then she realizes she hasn’t said anything for a long while. “You got new clothes.”

She curses under her breath because that’s not what she intended to say.

“Aye, figured it was time to start dressing the part since I’ve decided to settle in this world.” Her stomach does a little flip and she’s about to respond when her brother makes a gurgling sound. Killian motions to the baby and says, “I hope I’m not too early.”

Still trying to come to terms with the fact that he’s standing at her front door, she doesn’t say anything, only stares until she notices the way his face shows uncertainty.

“Yes,” she breathes out, making his face drop and she quickly corrects herself, “I mean, no! You’re not too early. My parents ran to the store and asked me to babysit.” She moves to the side and motions for him to step inside. “I was just about to put him down… if you’ll just give me a minute.”

He waves her off and she scurries behind the curtain to her parent’s bedroom. Her heart is racing, and as she lays her brother down in his bassinet, she takes a deep breath. There’s a part of her that is shocked that he _actually_ showed up, that he didn’t just stick with his crew…

_ He jumped through a portal for you, did you really think he wouldn’t chose to spend a holiday with you? _

Ignoring the voice in her head, she makes sure Neal is secure before she takes a deep breath and walks back out to find Killian with a picture frame in his hand. 

“This is a lovely portrait,” he mumbles as she walks up. “I dare say you and your father share more than a few similarities.”

“He says I have my mother’s eyes.”

“Aye, but you’ve his smile.”

“That was after I came back from the Enchanted Forest… after we met.”

She sees his brows pinch together as he places the picture frame back on the shelf and says, “You mean after I left you in that cell.”

“Yeah, well, I left you on the beanstalk… I’d say we’re even.”

Though he attempts to hide it by looking down, she sees his eyes roll before his gaze stops on her bare feet and she unconsciously wiggles her toes. There’s a strange feeling of intimacy that rushes through her because every time they’ve seen each other, they’ve always been put together. Even in Neverland, he always walked off while they all decided to rest and the times she did sleep, she always wore her clothes just in case they were attacked.

His eyes drag up her body and her cheeks burn as he takes a step back to properly appraise her.

“Swan, you look… _beautiful_.”

Biting her bottom lip, she looks down at the long sleeve knit dress she’s wearing and shrugs. She picked it up earlier while she was out food shopping. It caught her eye as she was just about to get into her car and though it’s winter and the skirt ends mid thigh, the royal blue calls to her. Because it’s pretty. _Not_ because it reminds her of a certain someone’s eyes.

“T-Thank you,” she murmurs. “Do you want a drink?”

She rips her eyes away from his lips, unaware that she’s been staring to find him with his head tilted.

“I’d love one.”

* * *

What surprises Emma the most is how she’s _not_ surprised there’s little to no shock at Killian being there. When her parents get back to the loft, her and Killian are sitting at the Island in the kitchen together with their knees touching as they share a drink and talk, and neither one so much as reacts. Her mother simply asks how her brother was, while her father accepts Killian’s offered help with the bags and when Henry shows up with Regina, Robin, and Roland, he takes one look around before asking, _“Where’s Hook?”_

The tint that formed on her cheeks made Regina roll her eyes as her mother informed him he was in the bathroom.

And so the night moves on with the practically the whole town showing up and no one batting an eyelash at the fact that her date is a pirate who is over two hundred years old.

_ Wait, is this a date? _

Shaking her head, she continues with her story about last New Year’s while Killian listens with rapt attention. Initially, she started the story because she was explaining why her mother was handing out pots and pans to the kids, but she continued on with it to distract herself from kissing him. 

Which helps—she’s getting better at this—then he pokes his damn tongue out to wet his bottom lip and it’s all she can think about again. 

If he notices her inner struggle, he doesn’t say a word and she’s grateful because being so wound up over the everything has made her slightly on edge and if he happened to mention it, she wouldn’t be surprised if she punched him in his stupidly attractive face out of instinct.

But he doesn’t and they continue on like any normal coup—frie— _whatever_ they are just trying to enjoy a party. And they do, because just _being_ with Killian is one of the easiest things she’s ever had to.

There isn’t an awkward pause as they try to figure out what to talk about and there’s no lull in the conversation. He makes her laugh, fills her drink when it’s empty and even concedes to letting her put a Happy New Year hat on him for the picture her mother takes of them. 

“Mom!” Henry comes rushing up to her with Roland at his side. “Do you know where grandpa put the hats? Roland’s string snapped.”

“Uh,” Emma looks around for the bag she saw Leroy carrying, “I’m sure there’s—”

“Here you are, lad,” Killian places his drink down on the table before reaching up to take his own hat off. “You can have this one.” Emma watches as he bends down to place the hat atop the little boy’s head and gives him a pat on the shoulder. “Run along now, you wouldn’t wish to miss the countdown.”

The urge to kiss him is strong and when he looks back to her, she can feel her cheeks heat up. 

“You know, I pictured you wearing that at the helm of your ship.”

He gives a snort as he picks up his discarded drink and shrugs.

“Shall I ever stand at her helm again, I’ll be sure to find a hat just like that, so your vision may come to pass.” Her brow furrows and she opens her mouth, but he cuts her off, “Did you hear that?”

She looks around the party and says, “The people?”

He rolls his eyes before tilting his head to the left.

“I think the babe might have woken.”

“You can hear my brother over all of this?”

When he turns back to her, there’s a smirk on his face and the urge to yank him to her is almost overwhelming. Her fingers tighten on the glass in her hand as he says, “I’ve long since trained my ears to hear that which others wouldn’t. Shall I fetch your mother?”

She almost says yes, but one look at her parents laughing with Ruby and the dwarves makes her shake her head and mumble, “No, I’ll check on him. I’ll just be a minute…”

“It’s alright, Swan. I don’t mind.” She blinks, and he adds, “Unless you wish for me—”

“No, it’s fine.”

Emma steps through the curtain that separates her parents room from the rest of the loft and feels the magic prickle her skin. The sound barrier spell was easy enough, but the fact that her mother didn’t hear Neal’s small cries worries her.

“Do me a favor,” she whispers to Killian as she walks over to her brother’s bassinet. “You see that white thing on the end table right there? Can you tell me if the red light is on?”

Her brother kicks his legs and arms out, his little face scrunched up while he gives small, frustrated cries. 

“Hey, kiddo,” she mumbles, leaning down to pick him up. “What’s wrong?”

She checks to make sure he’s dry before searching for his rubber nipple. 

“There’s no light, love.”

_ That explains it. _

“The batteries must be dead,” she mutters as she bounces her brother lightly. The rubber nipple is at the bottom of the bassinet and as soon as she places it at her brother’s lips, he begins to calm. “There you go.”

“Perhaps the wee one had a bit of a nightmare?”

“Maybe,” she answers softly and places her brother back down. “I think he just woke up without his bink.”

Pressing the button on the mobile, soft classical musical fills the room as Neal’s eyes begin to droop. 

“Seems as if all is right in the world again,” Killian whispers and she gives a hum in response. “You’re good with him.”

A wistful smile forms on her lips as she brushes a finger down his cheek before saying, “Only because of Regina’s memories.”

“I don’t believe that.” She looks up to him and he nods to her brother, “Caring for people comes naturally to you, no matter the size.”

Rolling her eyes, she moves her gaze back to her sleeping brother and mumbles, “You’re biased.”

“Aye, a bit.” 

She can practically _hear_ his smile and shakes her head. 

“My mother is better.”

“Then why are we the ones in here?”

With a shrug, she says, “I want to show my parent’s that I’m okay with them having another kid and that I… that I care.”

“What’s this, now?”

Taking a deep breath, she moves to sit down on her parent’s bed and waits until he’s next to her to explain.

“After everything that happened back in the Enchanted Forest… I told you, I didn’t want to hurt them anymore and knew there needed to be a change. So, I decided to make a New Year’s resolution, but started it a little early.”

“New Year’s resolution?” He asks, he voice filled with confusion.

“Uh,” her eyes flicker over to her brother before she nods. “Yeah. People use the new year as a time to start over and right wrongs… we both know I’m not really good at showing my feelings.”

He feigns shock. “You don’t say?”

Smacking his arm, she smiles at his chuckle and shrugs, “But after what happened in the past—I can’t go on like I was. So, I decided to be better at showing that I care.” She looks back to her little brother’s bassinet and nods to it. “Like letting my parents enjoy their party while I check on my little brother. It’s not much, but…”

“Don’t sell yourself short, love. I’ve seen the way your parent’s eyes light up when you address them as mum and dad. Your boy has also spoken to myself and Robin about how lovely it is to have his mothers no longer quarreling.” She feels her lips twitch into a ghost of a smile and Killian moves a fraction of an inch closer. “You may see them as not much, but I assure you, the people you are doing them for see them as much more.”

There’s a twinge of guilt that runs through her and she stakes a deep breath before mumbling, “I’m sorry that I haven’t done anything for you.”

To his credit, he tries to hide his surprise before he reaches up and scratches the back of his ear. 

“I… uh, well, I had thought—well hoped, the invitation to this gathering was just that.”

A puff of air passes her lips and she shakes her head.

“Yeah, I guess that probably _would_ have been considered one.”

They both look to the curtain as her mother calls out there’s one minute until midnight and Emma swallows to wet her suddenly dry throat. 

“Did you have another one in mind?”

Turning back to him, she sees his eyebrow raised in question and moves until their thighs are touching.

“I did,” she mumbles, her eyes flickering quickly to his lips then back up. “Something I can’t do with the others.”

The right side of his lips tick up. “Aye, and what is that?”

“Kiss them.”

He doesn’t attempt to hide his surprise this time and for a moment, doesn’t say anything. He simply stares, his eyes moving back and forth between her own.

“You wish to kiss me?”

“Yes.”

She’s not sure who moves first, him or her, but they meet in the middle and the second their lips meet, everything falls into place and neither seem to notice the cheers from the other room.

_ “Happy New Year!” _


End file.
